Nobody wants to wind up dating a loser, but it happens. Daters wind up finding themselves with someone who seemed great at first, but little by little, true colors are revealed, and suddenly you find yourself in a bad relationship. The best way to prevent this is to know what to look for. A loser is someone who creates more harm than good. He or she will cause too much strain on the relationship and stress in your life. Unfortunately, these “losers” come in many different forms, which is why you should know the signs of what to look for, allowing you to cut the relationship off before getting hurt.
“Debbie Downer”-This type of person is not only depressed, but will take it out on those close to him/her. Downers are always down and hard to please. They differ from those who are just depressed because downers often enjoy the negativity. This type of person usually has the power to change everything that is causing him or her to be down, however does not try to make an effort or take action because they don’t want to actually change. What to look for: A downer is always down and upset about everything, even if things in his/her life are going well. Downers complain constantly about the little things, and turn small issues into chaotic drama. They are negative people who find the bad in every situation and will point out the wrong to you. Downers will drag you down so that you are closer to their level. Someone who is a downer will make you feel bad about yourself and cause you to lose hope or interest in things. You will find that being around this type of person actually will change your mood for the worse.
“Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde”-This type of person can be very confusing. It may seem that he/she has two different sides or are even two different people in one. These people tend to change their minds rapidly, without any actually cause, and go from hot to cold, nice to mean and back within a matter of minutes. This type goes beyond a typical “hot head” as outbursts are sometimes unprovoked. What to look for: A Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde person will lose his/her temper quickly and act on that anger. However, after a few moments of anger, the person will suddenly snap out of it, and usually be very apologetic afterwards. Unfortunately, the apologies mean absolutely nothing since the behavior reoccurs consistently. People like this have a sweet/cruel cycle that is unpredictable. When you are around these types of people, you never know who you are going to get or what to expect. After a while, you will usually begin to walk around on pins and needles, holding your breath, just waiting for the next time he/she snaps.
“The Pig”-This type of person is cunning and will act with confidence. He or she is not shy and usually enjoys being in the spotlight. Pigs are selfish and only have themselves in mind. A pig will enjoy the chase while first dating and tends to get bored easily. He/she pursues other dates and does not voluntarily ask for exclusivity. Pigs want to have their cake and eat it too by having a relationship with someone while still being able to live the single life. What to look for: A pig will be an excessive flirt, even when you are around. He or she will gawk at others of the opposite sex and make comments about how attractive others are to you. You will likely catch a pig in a lie, more than once. If you are dating, a pig usually will be against any titles for your relationship, such as “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” He or she will instead introduce you as a “friend”, if at all. Even if a commitment is finally made, pigs will still act single, going out frequently without you. One big red flag is if he or she cheated in the past, whether on you or someone else, or if you are informed of current promiscuous behavior.
“The Financial Burden”- This type of person is awful with money. Not only does he or she have very poor budgeting habits, but money is often times unaccounted for. He or she cannot seem to keep up with the bills, even if a steady income is present. This person is always bumming money from friends and family members, and most likely has burned bridges because of it. These people are looking for fresh meat to help bail them out. What to look for: A financial burden may have huge amounts of debt or extremely low credit for no legitimate reason, such as divorce, death, or unemployment. It is possible that he or she is a gambler, believing that they are “professionals,” however losing money frequently. This causes the person to place more bets or visit the casino often, in hopes of regaining the lost money. Another possible sign is someone who shops crazily, constantly buying things that he or she doesn’t need, or more importantly, cannot afford. A financial burden loser will cause you grief by sucking you in and then hitting you up for extra money, having you help support him/her, or even stealing from you.
“The A**hole”-This type of person is just plain rude. Unfortunately, women often times wind up in a relationship with this type of loser since they are frequently attracted to the “Bad Boy” persona that is portrayed. Someone who is an a**hole doesn’t care about anyone else other than him/herself. They do what is convenient and beneficial for them and them only, no matter what the case, and often will do bad to get a rise out of others. What to look for: This type of person will likely have a poor or estranged relationship with family members, due to their attitude. He or she will treat others, such as waitresses, salespeople, and employees, poorly to appear powerful. These types of people enjoy putting others down and are extremely vain. If you are in a relationship with an a**hole, you are likely to be blamed by him or her for everything, whether or not you did anything wrong, and made to feel unworthy. He/she will call you names and often will become a verbal abuser.
“The Wedding Planner”-This type of person will appear to be a great person and have no issues or baggage upon meeting. The wedding planner will make you feel good and hook you in to the relationship, as you are suddenly overnight his/her top priority. Problems arise because they move too fast and attach quickly, rushing the relationship along at an unusual rate. These people are desperate and have made up their minds to find their life-long partner, whether that person is truly the one for them or not. It can be difficult to recognize the difference between true love and being with a wedding planner who is desperate to settle down. It is a good idea to take your time with everything, after all, if it is real love then it will be forever lasting and wait patiently for you. What to look for: The wedding planner can be a difficult person to identify. What is dangerous about them is that they make you feel wonderful while dating, causing you to be blinded by the fact that the relationship is unhealthy. Wedding planners will often talk of marriage way before the thought even crossed your mind. He or she is very fast to say, “I love you,” and showers you with gifts for no reason. If dating, this person will tend to make plans for you to ensure that he or she is a part of your future. This can be done by booking a vacation, making plans to move-in, or even proposing, all within a short amount of time after first meeting. Also, look for over-eagerness. Wedding planners want you to spend every waking moment with them and wind up smothering you.
“The Control Freak”-This type of person is very controlling of everything in his/her life. When it comes to a relationship, a control freak will expect all aspects of it to go as planned. A control freak believes that he/she is always right and that others are in the wrong. They will get upset if things do not go exactly how they wanted, as they have a “my way or the highway” attitude. What to look for: A control freak is usually very paranoid. He or she will think that you are going to end the relationship or want someone else, and may accuse you of cheating for no reason. This is their “reason” for tightening the strings and controlling you more. A control freak will tell you what you can and cannot do. For instance, he or she will say you’re not allowed to go to certain establishments or hang out with certain people. It may even get to the point that he/she begins to cut you off from family and friends. Control freaks are very hypocritical, as they often believe it is ok for them to do the things that you were told by them not to do. These types of people can become obsessive and even dangerous, following you while you are out with friends, or appearing at your work to make sure your there. You should make sure to inform others about your partner’s actions and get out of the relationship before it escalates further.
Losers never change. No matter what you do or say, they won’t magically turn into better people. That is why you should avoid dating these losers, and if you find that you are already in a relationship with one, it’d be for your best interest to get out quick!
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