The real reason most people bother to start a relationship at all, I believe, is to make it work for a lifetime. But this objective is hardly achieved most of the time. Why is this so? Why does making a relationship work almost an impossible task for some people, even when that is all they ever care for?
Are there rules that must be followed to make relationship work which some people do not seem to know about?
Anyone can get into a relationship but not everyone can keep a relationship. Making a relationship work is much more a daunting task than getting into it. As a matter of fact, keeping a relationship requires much more efforts than what one puts in to start one. But rather unfortunately, this is a secret that is known to relatively few people.
Failed relationship can be hurting, especially when one has invested much time, emotions and sometimes finance. If you are one of those who finds it near difficult to keep relationship working, it is time you had a self-examination in order to find out what you might not have been doing too right and unlearn them. Yes, there are many times when broken relationship is the fault of the other partner. However, if you often uncannily find yourself in and out of relationships regardless of who is at fault, it is time to examine why it is not working out for you.
You are always going to have struggles making relationship work, if;
1. You have a runny mouth
Nothing is wrong with you saying things as they are. But there is a danger when you do not know when to stop. There comes a point where making your point becomes harmful. Bare your mind but not with the intention to undermine your partner's feelings and ego.
Nothing is wrong with you saying things as they are. But there is a danger when you do not know when to stop. There comes a point where making your point becomes harmful. Bare your mind but not with the intention to undermine your partner's feelings and ego.
2. You tell everybody your damn business
Your friends are your support system, but they can be a gift or a curse. They can be there for you when you’re hurt, but they can also stir the hornet's nest in your relationship, if you always take everything that happens in your love affairs to them. Be careful whose advice you take, the truth is, not every piece of advice you get serves your relationship right.
Your friends are your support system, but they can be a gift or a curse. They can be there for you when you’re hurt, but they can also stir the hornet's nest in your relationship, if you always take everything that happens in your love affairs to them. Be careful whose advice you take, the truth is, not every piece of advice you get serves your relationship right.
3. You are unwilling to accept that you’ll need to make some changes in your life
“I’m not going to change for anybody” is always the extreme of not knowing what “How can I be better?” really means. You have to realise that your relationship is not only about you and that you cannot be so good that your shortcomings cannot be worked on.
“I’m not going to change for anybody” is always the extreme of not knowing what “How can I be better?” really means. You have to realise that your relationship is not only about you and that you cannot be so good that your shortcomings cannot be worked on.
4. You believe others should put up with your problems
“You should accept me flaws and all” is only half true. I’ve always said, “I accept that you have problems, but that doesn’t mean I’ll make them my own.”
Deal with your problems, no one is meant to live with them!
“You should accept me flaws and all” is only half true. I’ve always said, “I accept that you have problems, but that doesn’t mean I’ll make them my own.”
Deal with your problems, no one is meant to live with them!
5. You’re too inconsistent
You say you know what you want, you say you know what you don’t want, but you allow the two to mix sometimes. Do not come across your partner as someone who does not know what he/she wants in life.
You say you know what you want, you say you know what you don’t want, but you allow the two to mix sometimes. Do not come across your partner as someone who does not know what he/she wants in life.
6. You’re not ugly, you're just unattractive
Too often people confuse looks with attraction. I know plenty of beautiful women and good looking men who are not attractive. It may be personality traits, or they have only heavily relied on their looks and haven’t focused on their entire being to become completely whole. You have to know one fact: your ugly characters would definitely undo whatever relationship your good looks might get you.
Too often people confuse looks with attraction. I know plenty of beautiful women and good looking men who are not attractive. It may be personality traits, or they have only heavily relied on their looks and haven’t focused on their entire being to become completely whole. You have to know one fact: your ugly characters would definitely undo whatever relationship your good looks might get you.
7. You’re too critical
Do you know anyone without his flaws? Your perfect ten is probably not the person you envision your partner to be when you jot it down on paper. You just cannot expect your man or woman to come off-the-shelf like that too. You are knocking down potential and people who may meet your 80%, just because you find minor flaws.
Do you know anyone without his flaws? Your perfect ten is probably not the person you envision your partner to be when you jot it down on paper. You just cannot expect your man or woman to come off-the-shelf like that too. You are knocking down potential and people who may meet your 80%, just because you find minor flaws.
8. Your network of friends is not helpful
You are the company you keep. You have to have positive reinforcements in your life. It doesn’t mean that you have to have married friends, or friends with children. It means you have to have a positive network that is beautiful, instead of looking like a war zone of love.
You are the company you keep. You have to have positive reinforcements in your life. It doesn’t mean that you have to have married friends, or friends with children. It means you have to have a positive network that is beautiful, instead of looking like a war zone of love.
9. You haven’t learned to let go
Acceptance is a part of life that some people always struggle with. You have to learn to accept that some things that happened in your past are better left there. Do not hold on to those unfortunate incidents of the past because you think that letting go of them means you consider them okay. Do not be someone who digs up every little thing your partner did not do right in the past whenever an issue comes up in your relationship.
Acceptance is a part of life that some people always struggle with. You have to learn to accept that some things that happened in your past are better left there. Do not hold on to those unfortunate incidents of the past because you think that letting go of them means you consider them okay. Do not be someone who digs up every little thing your partner did not do right in the past whenever an issue comes up in your relationship.
10. You’ve got too much pride
Pride will stand in your way. It will make you quit a relationship because you feel slighted at a certain point, rather than doubling down and making it work. When you start concerning yourself with how you look to others instead of how you feel on the inside, you lose.
Pride will stand in your way. It will make you quit a relationship because you feel slighted at a certain point, rather than doubling down and making it work. When you start concerning yourself with how you look to others instead of how you feel on the inside, you lose.
11. You want what you deserve, but you don’t want to earn it
You probably think you deserve the world, and maybe you are right too. You want your partner to treat you like a king/queen but without you reciprgocating same efforts. Things do not work that way: you have to put in the necessary work too. Isn't it just natural that you should treat people the way you will love to be treated?
You probably think you deserve the world, and maybe you are right too. You want your partner to treat you like a king/queen but without you reciprgocating same efforts. Things do not work that way: you have to put in the necessary work too. Isn't it just natural that you should treat people the way you will love to be treated?
12. Your past becomes baggage instead of lessons learned
You have always brought the hurts and disappointment of past relationships to the current one. That only serves one purpose; encumbering your beautiful present which should be enjoyed with unfortunate past which adds no value. Constantly remind yourself that everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason. It is all right not to miss the lessons which past experiences intented to teach you. But do not let the ugly experiences in past relationship create a mental block in you.
You have always brought the hurts and disappointment of past relationships to the current one. That only serves one purpose; encumbering your beautiful present which should be enjoyed with unfortunate past which adds no value. Constantly remind yourself that everything that happens in your life, happens for a reason. It is all right not to miss the lessons which past experiences intented to teach you. But do not let the ugly experiences in past relationship create a mental block in you.
