The real reason most of us ever bother to get into a relationship in the first place is to make it a life-time experience. But some relationships are a waste of time as they have no future, irrespective of how long we may pursue them, because they lack the necessary ingredient to get them going: commitment from the two partmers involved.
We bring to you tell-tale signs to look out for in your partner to determine if (s)he is committed to making the relationship work.
You should realise your partner does not think anything serious about the 'relationship' you two share, if (s)he;
- has not built great relationships in the past
If your partner tells you all (s)he has ever had in the past were casual relatioships, you do not need a worse red flag to realise (s)he had not put much energy in the past to make a relationship a success. What is the guarantee (s)he feels any different about being with you.
- not progressive about the relationship
A relationship, like a plant, requires being nurtured to grow. The nurturing brings about an evolution that leads the realationship to solidity and certainty. However, if your partner does not see the need to put in the necessary efforts to help your relationship progress or develop into maturity, then it is an obvious signal (s)he is not ready for something real.
- avoids your family and friends
If your partner avoids meeting people who are really close and intimate to you, it can only mean (s)he sees your family or friends as elements that represent commitment and responsibility; one thing (s)he is not really ready for.
- prefers to take rather than to give
Relationship should be about give and take. But if your partner is all about taking, without willing to make any sacrifice of his/her own, believe me, the relationship is going nowhere as far (s)he is concerned.
- makes unnecessary demands
If your partner wants you to be a perfectionist and would nag to distract you from what good moments that could be born from your relationship, know this is a ploy (s)he is merely using to make you believe his/her not getting committed to you is all your fault. But the reverse is the case.
- is elusive
Does your partner appear vague about what (s)he wants from you? Whether in discussions or actions, being elusive is a sign your partner does not seek commitment with or from you.
- wants to be free
If your partner wants no attachment, but rather prefers being free, it is a clear signal he is not pusuing commitment with you. There is a marked difference between desiring one's space and thinking nothing about sharing quality time with one's partner
- has been hurt so many times
This is a red flag. Being hurt makes he/she go easy on being committed and providing anything assuring because really they find it difficult to go through that pain of investing emotions and losing it at the end of the day. They would prefer to play it safe and stay away from something real.
- dwells on the negatives of being in a relationship
Does your partner see the positives in your relationship? If all your partner ever does is concentrate his/her energy on your flaws and the things you are not doing right, (s)he is not ready for the real thing. (S)He is only employing the negative tactics to keep you from being fully involved.
- has issues with trusting you
A great relationship is about trusting one's partner. A partner who cannot seem to trust you, especially with his/her emotions and feelings is not willing to take things to the 'next level' yet.
