1. DISTRUST
The first of the primary things that could kill a relationship is definitely a lack of trust. A relationship without trust basically does not have anything.The reality about this is that you will not give the best of you to someone you do not trust or who you are convinced has his/her reservation about anything you do. A relationship fraught with suspicions will, without doubt, wither on the vine. If there are trust issues in your relationship, you need to get to the root cause of them and talk them out with your partner.
Try all in your power to conquer any trust issue in your relationship. After all, what is the essence of being with someone you do not trust?
2. LACK OF GOOD COMMUNICATION FLOW
Try all in your power to conquer any trust issue in your relationship. After all, what is the essence of being with someone you do not trust?
2. LACK OF GOOD COMMUNICATION FLOW
An untended gap in communication flow in any relationship can lead to a lot of problems. Show me a relationship where the partners do not often communicate or share things, and I will show you a relationship devoid of fun - an important ingredient in keeping any love endeavour. Partners should try as much as possible to discuss important issues - personal challenges, dreams et al. Partners in a relationship that is lacking in good communication flow will have difficulty in understanding each other's feelings. Fights will take longer than necessary to get sorted out or probably never get resolved. The dearth of communication in a relationship will ultimately result in its death.
The feeling of insecurity in a relationship can be difficult to handle, especially when either of the partner does not know or understand how the other person feels. The basic cause of insecurity is the fear of losing one's partner. And this fear may stem from;
i. the opposite sex being easily attracted to one's partner,
ii. one's partner not making one feel special or appreciated
iii. one's partner spending too much time with friends and not calling as frequent as one deems necessary.
Whatever the case, once you have identified the reason behind your insecurity, make it a point to talk it out with your partner. Do not, as a rule, keep your feeling of insecurity to yourself. Let your partner know how you feel. But do not let your frustration show by pointing out to your partner you are insecure. Just mention that you do not feel loved at times and explain a few examples when you did feel insecure.
Do not sound frustrated or sad, just say it matter-of-factly. If your partner truly loves and cares, he/she would try to reassure you and make you feel better afterwards.
4. GRUDGE KEEPING
There would be moments of offences in all relationships. And any relationship where all appears perfect is a relationship where pretence reigns. But when offences come, you should not hold grudges, because it is one of the things that negatively impact on relationships. When either partner in a relationship holds a grudge against the other, there is really no way of building a future together because the affected party would be living in the past of what did not go right.
Never delay whenever there is need to talk about any perceived offence, even if you need a third party to help you. Grudge keeping in no way helps your relationship.
5. TRYING TO GET EVEN IN PLACE OF FORGIVENESS
Getting even does not help a relationship heal. If you are feeling pain, do not take action that creates even more pain. Do not try to cover darkness with darkness. Find the light. Act out of love. Do something that will enable you to move forward towards a more fulfilling reality.If your partner makes a mistake that hurts you, and you want your relationship to grow beyond it, you have to start with forgiveness. Without it, the potential for long-term happiness in a relationship is impossible.Forgiving your partner does not imply you are weak; forgiving him/her simply show you are strong enough to know that human beings make mistakes. Forgiveness is giving up your craving to hurt them for hurting you. It does not mean you are erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you are letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move forward with your life… and hopefully move forward with your relationship too.
6. LIVING IN THE PAST
Your past relationship belonged only in one place: the past. Exes do not have any place in a new, current relationship. The constant presence of exes in a relationship would stunt its growth and could kill it. Now, this is not saying you cannot be on friendly terms with an ex or talk to your partner about a past relationship. Partners in a relationship should endeavour not to be hung up on an ex, if they want the relationship to move forward. Remember, you are no longer in your past relationship for a reason.
7. BEING TOO BUSY FOR YOUR PARTNER
The best gift you can give someone you love is the purity of your full presence. Presence is complete awareness, or paying full attention to “the now.” If you do not find at least some amount of presence in the moments you share with your partner, it is impossible to listen, speak, compromise, or otherwise connect with them on a meaningful level.
To cultivate your presence, all you need to do is sit quietly for as long as you desire and put your full attention on your breath – thinking only of what each inhale and exhale feels like. Do not judge or resist your inner-workings. Simply accept and breathe. Practice this a few times a day, and it will start to feel more natural. This way, when you are in the thick of a deep conversation with your partner, you can access that presence and listen without judgment or impatience, speak with clarity, and learn to fully connect and compromise.
Be present. Give your partner your full attention. Let them see their own beauty in your eyes. Let them find their own voice through your listening ears. Help them discover their own greatness in your presence.
8. FEELING TOO COMFORTABLE TO COMPLIMENT THE OTHER
The secret to a healthy, lasting relationship is not about how many days, months, or years you’ve been together, it’s about how much you truly love each other every day. You must directly express this love through your words and actions. It seems like such a small thing, but in our busy lives we often forget that a kind word, a helping hand, or just a smile and a quick “thank you” can create a bright spot in your partner’s life.
Relationships last a lifetime only when two people make a choice to keep it and work for it. Tell your partner you love them every night, and prove it every day. These acts of love don’t need to be extravagant; they just need to be true.
Also, acknowledging and appreciating each other’s daily victories is one of the most loving things two people can do for each other. So before going to bed every night, take a moment to openly discuss and appreciate three things you each accomplished during the day, no matter how small. Compliment each other and celebrate together. What we focus on expands. What we appreciate, appreciates in value.
9. WANTING TO BE RIGHT
When it comes to closest relationships, you do not always have to be right, you just have not to be too worried about being wrong. Ask yourself, “Does it really matter?” Oftentimes, it is far better to be kind than to be right.
Express your opinions freely and politely with your partner, remembering that if your purpose is to ridicule or prove them wrong, it will only bring bitterness into your relationship. Respecting their opinion, without judging or jumping to conclusions, always carries more weight than simply being right.
Life is so much better when you focus on being happy together, rather than worrying about who is more right as an individual.
When it comes to closest relationships, you do not always have to be right, you just have not to be too worried about being wrong. Ask yourself, “Does it really matter?” Oftentimes, it is far better to be kind than to be right.
Express your opinions freely and politely with your partner, remembering that if your purpose is to ridicule or prove them wrong, it will only bring bitterness into your relationship. Respecting their opinion, without judging or jumping to conclusions, always carries more weight than simply being right.
Life is so much better when you focus on being happy together, rather than worrying about who is more right as an individual.
10. RESISTING COMPROMISE
Good relationships do not just happen, and they are neither built solely on a foundation of convenience. They take time, patience, efforts, and two people who want to be together and are willing to meet in the middle. When there is a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties – a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in.
Ultimately, love is when another person’s happiness is equally as important as your own. It’s not only about romance, candle-lit dinners and walking hand in hand; it’s about a lifetime of commitment and cooperation. Two people do not stay in love because they sleep in the same bed, but because they share the same foundation of honesty, trust, and respect.
Afterthoughts
The greatest relationships take a great deal of work. They do not just happen, or maintain themselves. They thrive only when two people make an effort and take the risk of sharing what it is that is going on in their heads and hearts.
Keep in mind that every relationship has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that is the way it should be – you are a partnership, and partnerships cannot function without regular communication and compromise. When you do not talk it out, there is a lot of important stuff that ends up not getting said.
And, above all, remember that it is not all about you. There is greatness in doing something you dislike for the sake of someone you love.
Good relationships do not just happen, and they are neither built solely on a foundation of convenience. They take time, patience, efforts, and two people who want to be together and are willing to meet in the middle. When there is a disagreement, they work out a solution that works for both parties – a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change or completely give in.
Ultimately, love is when another person’s happiness is equally as important as your own. It’s not only about romance, candle-lit dinners and walking hand in hand; it’s about a lifetime of commitment and cooperation. Two people do not stay in love because they sleep in the same bed, but because they share the same foundation of honesty, trust, and respect.
Afterthoughts
The greatest relationships take a great deal of work. They do not just happen, or maintain themselves. They thrive only when two people make an effort and take the risk of sharing what it is that is going on in their heads and hearts.
Keep in mind that every relationship has ups and downs, every couple argues, and that is the way it should be – you are a partnership, and partnerships cannot function without regular communication and compromise. When you do not talk it out, there is a lot of important stuff that ends up not getting said.
And, above all, remember that it is not all about you. There is greatness in doing something you dislike for the sake of someone you love.
It is true that opposites attract…but they also say that like attracts like. You and your partner have to have something in common, even if you don't share every interest. When you don't have any common interests, you run the risk of getting bored and drifting apart. Even if the two of you come up with a new hobby together, make sure there is something you can do together, at which you both have fun.
And remember, do not allow someone else's relationship to definr yours. There is a chance, what you see from a distance isn't what it is with them.
There are many things that could kill a relationship, but none of them are insurmountable. Clearly, however, you and your partner have all it takes to weather all storms in your relationship.
