'Who is a real man?' As simple as this question appears, some of the reactions and responses I got when the question was raised have prompted this post. Some of the responses are as laughable as some are implausible.
Who is a real man? Is he:
- a work of fiction?
- a macho man or a hunk?
- a sex machine?
- a man who takes utmost care of his looks?
- a man who has made all the money his woman will ever need?
- a man who has his ways easily with women?
- a man who can put a woman in the family way?
The one answer to all the above definitions of who a real man should be, is an emphatic NO!
Now, let us take an in depth look at my analysis of whom I believe a 'real man' should be.
1. He loves and respects his woman for who she is.
A real man is a man who treats his woman with love, dignity and respect. He is a man who showers his love and attention on his lady true beauty which lies within her sensibilities and personality. He will readily cook her her a favourite meal, take her out for some 'nice time' away from home and shower her with gifts anytime he can help it. He also expects his woman to feel this way about him.
2. He stands up for the relationship.
A real man does not put his woman or his relationship down. Instead, he stands up for himself and defends the legitimacy and integrity of his his partner and the relationship.
3. He commits fully to the relationship.
A real man is loyal to his partner and puts in all the necessary efforts required to keep the relationship strong and healthy. He keeps his devotion to stay truthful to his lady at all times. He believes in honest communication and team work. His affection to his woman is a full-time commitment.
4. He protects his partner physically and emotionally.
A real man acts as a protective foil to his partner physically, financially and emotionally. He gives every to comfort and make her feel everything will be okay, in her difficult moments. He is ready to throw a good punch if necessary to defend her from physical aggressors. However, he thinks before he acts. He never makes a move until he is sure all details and specifics are in order. His moves are calculated, deliberate and assured. Abuse of any kind is never an issue when he is with his woman. He is a considerate kind of guy who treats everyone kindly.
5. He takes the first initiative—he leads.
A real man is a leader. He steps forward and addresses issues in the relationship boldly. He does not wait for the woman to solve problems. He does not play it safe and so avoid taking actions for the fear of being criticised. He is not scared to make mistakes. He is not opposed to seeking help or advice, when he is not so sure of what to do.
7. He steps up and makes the tough decisions.
A real man is decisive and he makes decisions in the relationship. He does not leave every other decision to his partner. When making decisions, he listens to his partners views and is flexible enough to tinker his decisions while taking his woman's views into consideration.
8. He takes responsibility for his actions and decisions.
A real man does not shy away from taking responsibities for his actions and inactions. He does not shift blame or try to defend his mistakes. He acknowledges when he has made a mistake, apologizes for it, learns from it and works to make it right. He is not too big to say, “I am sorry.” He is someone who is always well disposed to being corrected.
8. He fulfills his partner mentally and sexually.
A real man is fully aware that relationship is not just all about romance and passionate love making. Thus, he tries as much as possible to engages his woman in meaningful discussions about life, plans with her for the future, and cracks jokes to lighten and liven moments together. He displays an awareness, intelligence and sensitivity that makes his actions not only timely, but also genuinely charming.
9. He pursues other passion(s) that do not involve his partner.
A real man has enough going on in his life to keep him busy. The relationship does not define him. He is, at least, passionate about one other thing besides his relationship. He gives his woman her 'space' to lead a her own life. He is a calculative, ambitious and confident go-getter.
10. He speaks his mind—always.
A real man is not afraid to say exactly what he has on his mind. He will say only the things he means. He is straightforward and talk to his woman as an equal, and allow her to make her own conclusions or take whatever action she wishes. He is not autocratic. But he is neither a 'Yes-man' too.
