People in their search for the right man/woman often forget to make themselves right for their partners. They make themselves the proverbial fellow who would stop at nothing to remove the mote in his partner's eyes while doing relative nothing about the log in his own eye. Are you like that? If your answer to this question is YES, then there is a big chance you are the very problem with your relationship.
The bottom line is that every single one of our relationships starts within us. When we uncomplicate ourselves, we uncomplicate our interactions with others. When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, our relationships get a lot easier. Improve on yourself. Make yourself right for your relationship.
Now, the question on your mind is probably 'How do I improve on myself?' or 'What should I do right to help my relationship?'
The answers to the question are...
- Stop looking to your partner for the love and respect only you can give yourself:– Self-respect, self-worth, and self-love. There is a reason they all start with “self.” You cannot receive them from anyone else. Work on your self!
- Start letting your patner be exactly who he/she is:– Remember, a great relationship is about two things: first, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences. Do not try to make your partner who he/she is not.
- Stop being insensitive:– Do you feel your partner's pain? How kind and easy do you get with him/her when a favour, promise or an obligation is not met? Always be kinder than you feel. Yes, be way kinder than necessary. You never know what he/she is going through to make you happy.
- Stop letting one dark cloud obliterate the whole sky:– Don’t sweat the small stuff today. Don’t let stupid little daily frustrations interfere with your relationships. Just do the best you can. Live simply. Love generously. Speak honestly. Work diligently. Then let go and let what is meant to be, BE.
- Start showing your love:– Don’t just say it; let your actions speak too. Showing your partner you care is wonderful, and it is easy. Sometimes, the smallest act of love can take up the greatest space in someone’s heart. To make your partner happy, give him/her three things: attention, affection, and appreciation.
- Start accepting and embracing your flaws:– Everyone has his flaws. So, accept yours. Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. Love yourself! Forgive yourself! Accept yourself! You are YOU and that is the beginning and the end… no apologies, no regrets.
- Start asking yourself frank questions:- “Won't this hurt me, if it is done to me?” – The bottom line is that you cannot keep hurting your partner over and over and expect him/her to love and respect you.
- Start acting like what you do make a difference:– You are needed. You matter. Always go above and beyond for your partner. Show him/her you are the one who cares most.
- Start doing what is right for YOU too:– It is true you must put your partner into consideration before taking some decisions. But that is not saying you must practically live your life for him/her. Have a life of your own. Sometimes, you have got to do what is right for you, even if your partner disagrees.
- Stop needing to always be right:– Sometimes you must choose to be wrong, not because you really are wrong, but because youbvalue your relationship more than your pride.
- Start noticing the little things:– Pay extra close attention to your partner. Make it a point to remember every tiny details about your partner, it brings a special feeling in him/her. It goes a long way to show how much you care.
- Stop being dramatic:– It is of no use creating unnecessary drama in your relationship. Do not be a Mr. Douche Bag or Miss Drama Queen!
- Stop pressuring your partner into doing things:– Be patient. Let your partner decide for himself/herself. Being willing to wait is a true sign of love and care. Anyone can say that he cares about you, but not everyone will wait for you.
- Stop taking things personally:– Whatever happens in your relationship, do not take things too personally. Your partner's action or inaction sometimes may just not be about you or what you think it is.
- Start letting honest mistakes slide:– Lots of relationships fail because partners spend more time pointing out each other’s mistakes and not enough time enjoying each other’s company. So remember that EVERYONE makes mistakes… If you cannot forgive your partner's mistakes, make a check on what you think about your relationship with him/her.
- Start forgiving yourself for the pain you caused in the past:– People can be more forgiving than you can imagine, but you have to forgive yourself too. Let go of what is bitter and move on.
- Start living with 100% integrity:– Don’t cheat. Be faithful. Be kind. Do the right thing! It is a less complicated way to live. Integrity is the essence of everything successful. When you break the rules of integrity you invite serious complications into your life. Keep life simple and enjoyable by doing what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop letting your expectations get in the way of your love:– Do not expect too much from your partner. Love is simply friendship without unjust expectations. It is a quiet understanding, a mutual confidence, and a commitment to sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.
- Stop making it all about YOU:– The most successful people in the most successful relationships are looking for ways to help their partners. The most unsuccessful people are still asking, “What’s in it for me?” Don't build your relationship on the pronoun 'I'. Make 'We' the preferred pronoun.Remember, it is a relationship, it is not just about you!
- Stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no”:– You can’t always be agreeable. If you do, you make room for your partner to take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set clear boundaries. Have your own voice.
- Start communicating clearly:– Do not try to read your partner’s mind, and don’t make him/her try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, in relationships start with bad communication. Someone is not being clear.
